My Testimony by Amy Flink

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. ~ Ephesians 2:1-7

My name is Amy Flink and I had been overweight since I was 11 years old. This 20+ year ordeal has been a nightmare of losing and regaining over and over again. I had given up hope of ever being thin, but praise God for the Weigh Down Workshop--I have been given that hope, and my life back!


Please know that this is nothing I have done. I don't know why God chose me, but I am thankful that He loved me enough to discipline me. I am so undeserving.


Growing up, I was never a picky eater and there were few foods I disliked. My passion for food began then--but since I was active in swimming, baton and gymnastics, it didn't show--and I thought I was getting away with it! I was so skinny I could squeeze between the bars of a gate! I really thought I had it all together. I never thought it would happen to me.


I remember making cookies and bingeing out on cookie dough or chocolate icing till I would almost pass out! One time I ate so much bread dough that I feared the yeast would rise in my stomach and I would explode--I sure felt like I was about to. Another time I was about 7, I kept going back to the kitchen for more doughnut holes and I actually counted eating 20 of them in one night--but once again, I never thought that overweight would happen to me...


I was able to compensate for the extra food until I was about 10 or 11, and believe me, it was a very rude awakening when I suddenly noticed it showing up on my body. I used to love to run and win blue ribbons on field day, but suddenly my legs felt like lead and I was no longer the fastest runner in my class. I was depressed before I even really knew what "depressed" meant! I began to hate gym class, and found running a very burdensome task. I can remember crying about the fat on my thighs and trying to squeeze into my favorite jeans and being boiling mad!


As years went by, I started putting on the weight since I wasn't as active due to aching joints and being out of breath. I slowly realized I was fooling myself, thinking I had been getting away with sneaking extra food. I remember going to McDonald's with my family and eating everything on my plate and then bumming some more off my family, and eating whatever my dainty-eating little sister left behind. I was a bottomless pit! I would eat when I was lonely, sad, happy, bored...you name it. I also ate to rebel against my mom, who didn't know how to help me. I was a closet eater.


Bothered by my excess weight and distraught over the teasing I experienced from peers, I thought: "I know what I'll do; I'll just go on a diet!" (Like I had seen people on commercials and many of the adults in my life do to solve their problems). No problem, right? Well, wrong!! Little did I know what I was in for!! It didn't take me long to discover that this meant I would have to give up my favorite foods like mayonaise on my sandwiches, potato chips, chocolate--pretty much everything I was fond of. I would try running to work it off but that didn't last long. I hated every minute of it. I suffered from mild asthma so I couldn't keep this up, also any calories I might have burned would be put back on since I would eat right after! I then would try starving myself but than give up and binge. It makes me nauseated when I think of those days of making empty promises to myself. It never occurred to me that God cared so I never thought of talking to Him about it. I hated myself for being so greedy, lazy and undisciplined, and thought, how could God love me?!


In my teen years I experienced a lot of turmoil. I wanted desperately to be like the pretty girls with "perfect" bodies in the teen magazines I read religiously, but shopping for clothes was brutal. I would sit in the dressing room and stare at myself and cry! I remember one Sunday I put on my church dress and was very frustrated because it didn't seem to fit anymore. What had happened? I had worn it recently and it fit fine. Mom said not to worry and that we would go on a diet together. Well, I started bawling because I knew how hopeless that pursuit was. We both ended up bickering, and she left for church without me, which was fine with me; I figured God didn't care, anyways! After that I bickered with my dad and my sister and went and locked myself in my room.


In 8th grade I tried the Thousand Calorie Diet and was initially successful, lost weight but next thing I knew it came back with a vengence! What had happened? I became more and more desperate and out of control. In 9th grade I tried Slim-Fast but didn't lose anything and NO WONDER: I didn't do it right. I think I cheated. It was hard trying to "stick to it"and then going to picnics and parties and seeing everyone else enjoying hotdogs and ice cream and them wondering why I wasn't eating, and feeling left out. I finally decided, heck with it! I started believing the lie that fat was beautiful and that other were going to have to "love me or lump me"! By my sophomore year of highschcool, I had reached the 200 pound mark on the scales and thought I carried it well. I made almost no effort to bridle my eating those 3 years of highschool. The only means of control I would use would be to starve myself half the day and I maintained it to some extent by skiing on the weekends and jogging or aerobics--but was never much of an athlete so I couldn't keep it up. I experienced a lot of turmoil and was trying to look for food, relationships and the approval of others to fill me up. I was gaining an average of 10 pounds each year. I can remember when I was a senior in high school, I remember running to McDonald's and ordering a super-size meal with a milkshake and apple pie (when I had the money) and still wanting more. Sometimes I would go to the other McDonald's across town and order more food so I wouldn't get "caught". One time they gave me the wrong order and I ended up with more food than I paid for (3 hamburgers instead of 1!) I thought I was in heaven and I ate all of it in one sitting and convinced myself that I was happy doing this. "Isn't this the life!" I would think, as I bit into a juicy burger. I was being deceived big-time!!


I was also addicted to espresso. I would stop at the drive-thru coffee stands before and sometimes after school as well. If I didn't get my espresso, I felt like something was missing in my life. I remember climbing the 2 flights of stairs to my homeroom in the morning and I would be out of breath, sweating and dizzy by the time I got there. I would stop at the school store after school and buy some candy bars and then go out to my car and eat them in one sitting. I remember feeling so empty at school and the tears would come the minute I got inside my car. I can remember one weekend I knocked off a whole bag of Hershey's kisses and then on Monday, getting ready for school, I would try to squish myself into my jeans, and breaking off my artificial nails trying to button them. I ended up having to go buy a new pair of (bigger) pants. I kept telling myself I didn't care, which was a lie. I was MISERABLE.


I knew I was miserable but couldn't put my finger on exactly why. I was active in church and people at church seemed to look up to me and thought of me as a model Christian. I thought I was a good person, but couldn't figure out why I was so empty! I could be smiling on the outside, but inside I was crying! How could I be surrounded by so many people, and yet feel so alone?


This empty doughnut hole grew inside of me and after high school I went through a very traumatic experience and felt depressed when my high school friends went off to college and I was left in Washington with no purpose, no direction. I blamed my pain on everyne else and even on the dreary Seattle weather. I feel I wandered aimlessly. I spiraled out of control by 1997, trying to use food, money, and relationships to meet my needs--with devastating results. At the end of that year, I was broke and overweight, with no job, and no boyfriend since I had chased everyone off. I had left my church and stopped reading my Bible and my relationship with God had declined. I was the Prodigal daughter with a broken heart. I had nowhere else to turn but back to God, so one Sunday, on faith (keep in mind I had no idea if the church still existed), I took my Bible off my shelf, dusted it off, and went back to the church I attended in highschool, and experienced a spiritual awakening. My friends welcomed me back with open arms, as did God. A passion for Jesus was birthed in my heart at that time.


As I focused on God, I noticed something amazing: I was less magnetized towards the food, and at a Christmas party, my Aunt asked me how I lost weight. I was so busy focusing on God I hadn't realized I had lost any. But it was like God was right there saying, "I am the way...to weight loss." Right then I KNEW there would be a way out...


One year later, The Weigh Down Workshop came into my life. One Wednesday night, our church was starting seminars and one was called The Weigh Down Workshop. "Should I stay or should I go?" I wondered. A friend grabbed my arm and said, "Come with me!" So I did. To be honest, I wasn't sure which seminar we were going to since there were 2 choices that night...but as God would have it, it turned out to be the Weigh Down class, which I am so thankful. From that first night in class, I was sold! From the get-go, I knew this blonde lady with the Southern accent was telling the TRUTH! Since that day in fall 1998, I never looked at food the same way again, and no longer felt condemned for eating chips and chocolate and hamburgers.


But I missed the boat on the whole point of it. I didn't lose much weight in the beginning because I didn't fully put it into practice. Also I eventually realized that the church wasn't backing up the Weigh Down teachings, which were mere Christianity. Finally, in 2001, I pulled out of that mega church. I tried doing it on my own, but by 2003 I had gained back my weight and was morbidly obese at almost 300 lbs. In 2005 I had to have my galbladder removed and I remember laying in the hospital bed with jaundice, crying out to God for help. In 2006, Remnant Fellowship, the church that started from Weigh Down, came into my life.


Since then, my whole life has changed. I have received so many blessings from losing about 100 lbs so far, to being taken off a whole tackle box full of medications due to medical problems, including antidepressants for anxiety and depression. Also I no longer feel I need to get my "fix" from espresso. God gave me back my finances and I was able to pay back my debts. I have peace in my household which I didn't have before. I used to bicker with loved ones but things have changed, and that was just by me changing.


I want to encourage anyone struggling to go to God. Trust Him. This journey has not always been smooth sailing for me, and I have been very stubborn, but I would do it all over again for the love of God. If I can do this, you can do it, too! Whatever you do, don't give up, ever! If you stumble, get right back up and persevere forever! Oh how He must really love me to be so patient and bring me to this place. I can never go back to my old life! Praise the Lord.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
~ Ephesians 2:8-10

The Weigh Down Workshop has changed my life! Call 1.800.844.5208 for more information, or go to: http://www.weighdown.com/

To visit the church that sponsors Weigh Down click visitor link: http://www.remnantfellowship.org/rfivisit.asp

Check out Remnant Fellowship website: http://www.remnantfellowship.com